What Happened? Life Happened

I've read through old posts and the only thing that springs to mind is, 'what the hell happened?'

I used to be a lot more...



That's where I stop. I don't know what quality it was I had then but whatever it was I feel like I should miss it. I could convey something so much more than myself. I've got to a stage in life where you become so busy and you loose sight of so many things. You lack the time to think about different concepts because you have essays to write, and campaign's to run and a life to lead.

The only thing thats of a higher quality in more recent posts is my grammer and even that's still lacking. I think a reason for this is because I don't spend much time on my own now. I don't take the time to sit and think and come up with thoughts and ideas which are beyond myself and have some higher sense of self.

I need to get out of myself and truely become something else. I don't know what yet but something.

But Ive been at University for over a year now, I'm a tired, old second year. My thoughts are very broken as I'm listening to Mumford and Sons, they are very distracting due to them being so good. I've been broken, bashed, re-moulded, changed, manipulated, used, abused, pulled, pushed...It's been intense. I know there are so many reasons why I've lost some of my younger innocence. Life happens.

You think when you're really young you'll start you're 'real' life when you're older but it starrts the day you're born. Every little insignificant event that happens impacts you. Everything. So why do people change? When someone asks what happened? life happened is the appropriate response. Becase it's true. We get caught up on little things which seem like mountains at the time, they're not and you realise years later that it didn't mean anything, or that it was infact a mountain, a big one which leaves a large shadow over you're life.

So what am I saying? Be careful what you let happen. Let life happen but make sure it's not something that will leave a giant ass shadow. And if that shadow in unavoidable, buy a s**t tonne of torches and point them at it. Force it out. You should choose what impacts you, remember you're allowed to stand there and say 'no, I won't let you ruin me, I won't let you make me feel bad, I'm going to forget you and that will be that. You're not invited back.'

That's all. Keep Smiling :)

Long Time No See

Gosh it's been a long time blogger! I'm very sorry for neglecting you.
But I felt like writing a more serious thoughtful blog post which isn't something for Tumblr, I feel I've cheated on you a bit!

But I've been incredibly thoughtful lately, I've been thinking about being afraid to do something.
There are many events or opporunities, activities, aspirations in life which can be scary, whether it be because you think you'll fail at doing it, it won't work out well...Being scared to do something you want to do holds so many people back. Self doubt in your ability to do something, even if you don't up doing it well is something which hinders people from reaching their full potential.

For example if you enjoyed writing, as I do, but don't like getting too into any project because you're afraid it will suck you're stopping yourself from doing something which could be great. And sucking isn't such a bad thing anyway, even if it does suck at least you did it, you enjoyed doing it so there's nothing lost.

On a larger scale you may be afraid to move on from old friends, move to a new location for a job, start a fresh in life, go for a promotion, so many things in life require taking a little risk and betting on yourself, that you're capable of achiveing something and coping with it. Life is always going to throw curve balls at you and when you know something will be a positive in your life you have to do it. You'll gain and loose a lot in life and it's the beauty of the fact we get to choose what falls into those catagories that makes our lives ours. If you let fear hold you back you're not going to be doing yourself any favours.

I often get scared to do things which I know I want to do, whether it be because I don't feel I have the time, don't think I'll be any good at it, think it will be too difficult. The fact of the matter is if you don't take these risks and face those fears you will get stuck in a rut and live the same old boring life you always have, and its very likely you'll be unhappy while doing so.

So thats just a bit of what I've been thinking lately. I am going to post more on here I think. I have a lot to say.:)

Keep Smiling.