What Happened? Life Happened

I've read through old posts and the only thing that springs to mind is, 'what the hell happened?'

I used to be a lot more...



That's where I stop. I don't know what quality it was I had then but whatever it was I feel like I should miss it. I could convey something so much more than myself. I've got to a stage in life where you become so busy and you loose sight of so many things. You lack the time to think about different concepts because you have essays to write, and campaign's to run and a life to lead.

The only thing thats of a higher quality in more recent posts is my grammer and even that's still lacking. I think a reason for this is because I don't spend much time on my own now. I don't take the time to sit and think and come up with thoughts and ideas which are beyond myself and have some higher sense of self.

I need to get out of myself and truely become something else. I don't know what yet but something.

But Ive been at University for over a year now, I'm a tired, old second year. My thoughts are very broken as I'm listening to Mumford and Sons, they are very distracting due to them being so good. I've been broken, bashed, re-moulded, changed, manipulated, used, abused, pulled, pushed...It's been intense. I know there are so many reasons why I've lost some of my younger innocence. Life happens.

You think when you're really young you'll start you're 'real' life when you're older but it starrts the day you're born. Every little insignificant event that happens impacts you. Everything. So why do people change? When someone asks what happened? life happened is the appropriate response. Becase it's true. We get caught up on little things which seem like mountains at the time, they're not and you realise years later that it didn't mean anything, or that it was infact a mountain, a big one which leaves a large shadow over you're life.

So what am I saying? Be careful what you let happen. Let life happen but make sure it's not something that will leave a giant ass shadow. And if that shadow in unavoidable, buy a s**t tonne of torches and point them at it. Force it out. You should choose what impacts you, remember you're allowed to stand there and say 'no, I won't let you ruin me, I won't let you make me feel bad, I'm going to forget you and that will be that. You're not invited back.'

That's all. Keep Smiling :)